So, I decided to stop being a self-pitying, negative weenie. Feeling sorry for yourself never got anyone anywhere, so *raspberry noise* to that.

I've decided to start fasting again because, when it comes down to it, the only way to access all this excess fuel I have on my body is to stop eating so often and start using it.

I'm also starting to notice that I'm getting very bored with the Paleo community online. It's very samey now that the more vocal components are losing their belly-fire. I've also noticed that because they're mostly thin American men, they cover topics that interest thin American men. I'm a fat woman from New Zealand, living in Europe. Plus the blogs I do connect with only update once every 10-14 days or so, uh... like me!

I guess after 1.5 years I think I've learned what I need to from the greats, and I'm moving out from under their tutelage to become my own guru.

Oh, and I've joined a gym!

A new, very basic, very cheap gym opened up about 3 buildings down from my apartment and I joined up last week. I had my first work out two days ago on Saturday.

Now, something I now think is funny, but would have *crushed* me just a short time ago, is that the testosterone-fueled, shaved head, military bearing, alpha male manager does NOT like me one bit.

It started when he first saw my Vibrams and told me that 'those sorts of shoes' are not appropriate for running because they don't offer support, don't have a sloped heel, and don't allow me to run in the "proper" heel-strike manner. I just sort of looked at him blankly and said 'There are people who run marathons in these' and he said 'and they damage their feet, knees and hips' to which I said 'but Africans run miles on natural feet all their lives injury-free. That's what our feet are evolved to do' and we just kind of stared blankly at each other. Then he pulled a subtle 'You're an idiot' face and continued to explain how the treadmill works.

Later on he asked Erik and me what our goals are and I said 'To lose weight and gain muscle by not doing cardio, only working my largest muscle groups in an explosive manner in a short amount of time' and this time he didn't really even try to hide his 'You're an idiot' face.

Conventional Wisdom Gym Manager and I will not ever see eye to eye. He thinks I should be there for 1.5 hours, 4 times a week with a minimum of 30 minutes of cardio, with a slow trek around all the muscle isolation machines thereafter, resting for two minutes between 5 sets of 10. I want to go for 30 minutes, twice a week, run as hard as I can for 5 minutes on the treadmill then bust through 1 set of 10 on the machines that work the most muscles at the same time and get out, and go home.

He, as a fitness expert, has probably seen the same people come to the gym day in, day out, never changing their bodies. I hope that as time progresses he will see me trim down and gain strength while only going 2, maybe 3 times a week. Perhaps then I won't get the 'you're an idiot' face any more.